Thursday, December 7, 2006

tired

ok. i think i'll actually blog in this. it's a scary thought. but i just might be willing to give it a shot. i'm tired. as the title may suggest. i have loads of french work that i didn't do and am starting to admit that i'm probably not going to do it. again. and i still haven't started on my research paper due next wednesday. i wanted to start today but of course i can't trust myself. tommorow i have work, so i won't be starting it, and then the next day i have work in the morning and i'm supposed to hang out with friends after. so i have to do a lot a lot of work on sunday. which is perfect cuz' it gives me time to not just give up completely when i get confused by the prompt or realize that i don't have one. still, 5 pages is long. and i probably won't finnish it... but i'll be crossing my fingers...

this is why i never do my homework. i find something to distract me... i've given myself the worst work ehic in the world... i need a seperation from work and relaxation. so when i'm at home, all i do is relax....

Monday, December 4, 2006

soon...

all this time and i still feel as if my life hasn't yet begun.
so much i haven't yet experienced.
children know more about life than me.
i don't know about myself.
my life.
even my country.
don't know what i want.
who i am.
where i come from.
who to trust.
when to speak.
who know's more.
when to turn my cheek.
who my true friends are.
who loves me.
who expects more of me.
who wants to know who i am.
who will give me the time of day.
who thinks i'm smart.
who know's what i think.
who wants to know.
who believes in me.
who promisises me complexity.
how to live my life.
who to share my soul with.
how to give my life.
how to know who loves me.
how to experience joy.
how to experience pain.
how to have all loss,
and no gain.
who wants to show me more.
who wants to take away.
who doesn't understand.
any more than my name.
and why it happens to me.
and why it won't go away.
and how to start this over.
and how to make it end.
how to understand it.
how to want it more.
how to show my feelings.
how to open the iron door.
when to give my story.
when to share my life.
when to know i love you.
when to give up time.
where it all is going.
where it all comes from.
where to go in sadness.
where to know the rest.
if i can't figure it out.
i will not care.
i will not shout.
this is not the ending.
this is not the denoument.
this is not the resolution.
this is not the stop.
and in the end it will all make sense.
but it just might be too late.
if that all adds up.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Things to be thankful for...

1. my dog. of course. we had a paper in my english class where we had to write the people we were thankful for and then share one with the class. i said my dog. my teacher said "you are aware that your dog is not a person, right?"
2.turkey...
3.drunken aunties
4.sexist uncles with feminist wives
5.t.v.
6.music
7.cousins
8.nut mixtures
9.chips and dip. hmm... no salsa this year. my grampy is famous for his salsa...
10.my grampy winning bets he made with his best pal willy.
11.christmas is coming.
12.wrote a check
13.joshy
14.night-drive home
15.camara
16.drive there... with lots of roadtrip pics.. ***note to self: make a photoblog***
17.my job. though i sometimes hate it. it pays
18.thanksgiving day episodes
19.comedy central
20.family family family
21.ice cream
22.pilgrims
23.computer. of course. and don't forget myspace.
24.lists
25.crazy black friday shoppers
26.friends
28.friends who actually care enough to call
29.friends who don't invite other friends to movies
30.friends who plan to crash movie watching "party"
31.friends who i only "see" through im
32."friends"
33.cousins who call family "friends"
34.friends, the thanksgiving episode
35.blue collar comedians
36.scrubs
37.scrubs marathons
38.the fact that my friends like scrubs. and i am soo o.k. with that
39.posibbly being able to buy strangers with candy complete series
40.the thought of owning a wii
41.or an ipod
42.for your consideration is out
43.movie tickets still left over from my bday
44.three days off school
45.commercials starring the one and only santa clause. in many shapes and sizes
46.that i have soo much to be thankful for